An odd outlook on life

It's been a long time since I posted anything. Just today I came to a full understand about what my outlook on life is. And I find it quite strange. I enjoy it, but I don't think many people really share this look with me.

First of all, I'll share a story that I think is when it all started.
Back in the day when Chris was dating Kim, which was quite some time ago, Chris, Lewis and I were into all sorts of trouble. We used to play with fire, do some minor vandalism, and all in all just doing mischeif that we had so much fun doing. One day we got our hands on a ouija board. It was fairly creepy. The person talking was a spirit named Vali. Which is the name of the son of odin within Greek mythology. (We found it out after we googled it). Upon asking Vali to show us a sign that he was with us, one of Chris' toys, a person in a box that yells and screams cause he's trapped, started going off. Was fairly creepy but there was always co-incidence. Chris took that batteries out and put it in the closest, and when we asked Vali again, the toy went off one more time. Now we were very creeped out. There was no explaination to that. During that time with the ouija board, it told me that I would die when I am 25, and Lewis would die when he's 26, where as Chris would likve until 80 something.

Weither or not that board was telling the truth, It doesn't matter. But that is when it began.

Right now, I look upon life, without goals, without hopes. I never set any goals for myself because if I die, I never want to feel like I didn't get a chance to do something. I don't have hopes because I'd rather have the surprize that something good happened, rather then the let down that something bad happened.
One of the bands I listen to, Blind Guardian, have a line in their greatest song
"At the moment of Death I will smile" and that seems to be the sumation of what my out look on life is. When death comes to collect, I don't think I'll need to fight it. I'm not scared of it anymore.
Just like in the song mad world, most the dreams that I have, are of me dying. But the odd thing is that it's almost never a nightmare. It's just something that happened and everyone would have to deal with.
Currently I live moment to moment with everything I do directed towards happiness cause when I die, the last thing I want people to see is me smiling as I leave.
I don't want to be a huge success. I don't want to be famous, I don't ever want to strive to make lots of money. I just strive to be content.
Sounds even weirder since I'm normally never content being second best. But my thoughts tend to go with the hypocritical pair.
I often have fantasys about being held hostage or held up at gun/knife point. I see movies where the people comply with the guy with the weapon but end up getting killed anyways. If someone I loved was in danger, I would lay down my life for them without question. In my fantasys, if someone told me to lying on the ground or he's gonna shoot me, I picture myself telling him to either shoot me right now or just fuck off. I'd tell whoever was with me to run. And I'd do my best to try and protect them so they can live, where I might not.
I don't think many people come upon this outlook of life until much later. Which is why I think of it as odd.
To anyone reading this, this is not me talking about how I WANT to die. Cause I don't. but it's about how I will embrace death if it does happen to come. So don't think of this as being a cry out for help. This is more of just a way to organize mythoughts so I can understand it better.